Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
