It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
