I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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