it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
