I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
