So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
