I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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