Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
