This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize