I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
