You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
