420 ftw
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
