Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
