She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
