worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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