Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
