hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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