this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
