I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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