mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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