btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize