forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they need to just BURY HIM!
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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