im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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