ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
