ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
