so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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