We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
