I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
