I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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