i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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