Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
