The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
