you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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