I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need a beard to bite.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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