we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
