My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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