So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
