Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
