the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
