She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
