omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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