if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
