I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
