apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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