Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
not ubering you a puppy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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