I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
