Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
