Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
