I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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