This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
