Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
