Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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