i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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