1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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