She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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