glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
