Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Duck Duck Cougar?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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