and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
