whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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