somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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