please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
