my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
