You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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