i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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