Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
